I was born at home in Beirut, Lebanon in 1976 because war was raging on the first day of my life. It was the beginning of a 15-year civil war that killed about 6% of the Lebanese population.
To say Lebanon was divided would be an understatement. The country was ripped apart by regional geopolitical forces that pitted each religious group against the other. At the core of the Lebanese civil war, the US civil war, or any civil war is the inability to create unity in the face of powerful internal forces determined to divide.
Division is the result of incompatible beliefs, organizational confusion, behavioral carelessness, or combinations of these three. These are three wrecking balls that impact unity.
- Incompatible Beliefs. When your purpose in life and for work is different from others, then the principles you value, individually and together, naturally differ. Therefore the goal at hand is different, and unity is threatened. Differing beliefs can be a strength only if there is healthy communication, valuing of relationships, and zero contempt. Otherwise, our differences become our demise. What shall we do as leaders? We must be hyper-aware of expressed differences in beliefs, recognize the ability of our team to work around or through them, and even predict how beliefs that remain silent or deeply embedded may show up and affect the team’s synergy.
- Organizational Confusion. When there is no clarity for roles and where systems and internal institutions are disrespected, unity becomes threatened. The founding fathers of the US were geniuses who came up with a system that has kept democracy alive since 1776. But could they have made an error that left our country vulnerable for civil war? If the US constitution had included a clause that prevented any state from seceding without 75% consent from all the other states, I wonder if the US civil war could have been avoided. In the context of a business or church, when there is confusion about who has what role and at what level of authority, a major conflict is usually inevitable.
- Behavioral Carelessness. Where there are unhealthy relationship disciplines, immature communication, and unsound boundaries, reckless behavior abounds that erodes unity. We must love each other and value relationships above all else. We must communicate with transparency, honesty, graciousness, and refuse to be emotionally-led. Finally, our relationships must be guarded with established boundaries and lines we will not cross.
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