What are the hardest events one can go through as a leader? Here are three that cut deep. They are part of the journey and ones we may encounter several times in our life of leadership. Have you been through any of these experiences yet?
1. Saying Goodbye to a Team—This happened to me in 2014 when I split from a partnership. Looking back now, I know it was an incredible period of growth that resulted in a strong comeback with that same partner in 2020. Still, because of the split I lost almost all of the team I had brought together, grown with, and loved. As any good team does, we had worked out issues, forged through tough times, faced defeats, and embraced successes together. We did life together. Leaving them was like suffering a death. Hard. Our tendency, as it is when we suffer any loss, is to recoil, disengage from life, and avoid the same level of warmth with people again so we might avoid future pain. We must resist that behavior. If you have an amazing team now, a world-changing team, enjoy them, invest in them, conquer your mission with them. Just know that one day, there will be an end. You may leave, you may retire, or the organization may dissolve. Great leaders fall in love with their teams and understand when they have to leave them. How can we cope with this difficult reality? Our faith. Know that in everything we serve the Lord, worship the Lord, follow the Lord’s leading, and that we are in love with the Lord more than anything or anyone.
2. Saying Goodbye to a Dream—Have you ever had a dream that got squashed into oblivion? Have you ever had a life-long vision that vanished despite your strongest efforts and desires? Since leaders are dreamers, you may have mentally lived in the future, constructed a grand world in your mind, a beautiful vision you worked hard to achieve. Losing this dream can inflict deep, searing pain in your heart. While difficult, as a follower of Christ, we must have a higher approach to any ending. We must believe that God will do what is best for us, even if ‘best’ does not look good at the moment, even if ‘best’ means the death of a dream. Moreover, a newer and better dream is often not birthed until an old dream dies. The fact remains: the loss of a dream can be jolting for leaders. In that same event of 2014 when I lost my team, I also grieved the loss of my dream to be part of a world-changing organization. This particular ending meant I had to start from scratch. Fast forward to today: my dream was not only revived, but it has expanded. I do not promise that dreams will always be revived, but many times they are. We never know. So, we must trust God.
3. Saying Goodbye to a Season of Life—I spoke with a dear friend recently about his possible retirement in a few years. We agreed that maybe retirement is the wrong term, that we should think about retirement in the context of a transition. I could see in my friend’s words a longing to come to terms with this significant life transition. A few weeks ago, one of our ER doctors retired from medicine at age 70. He was so happy. He even got on skates and was featured on national news, thanks to a social media video that went viral. But I remember this dear doctor a few weeks prior at an intimate physicians dinner, where he gave a moving talk and became teary-eyed. After sharing a few poignant stories about his career, he said, “I will miss medicine.” I asked him, “Dr. Masterson, are you going to maintain your medical license?” He said, “No, I am not practicing anymore.” He had to come to terms with this transition.
As humans, all of us, especially in our leadership roles, will have seasons that end. The endings can be gut-retching. However, this is part of the journey of life and part of the journey of leadership.
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