A leader in our community submitted the following: “How do you handle team members who stir up trouble? How do you set healthy boundaries? How do you motivate a team when the job is repetitive?” I will address their questions this week.
I am unsure of the exact trouble this leader is referring to, but trouble with people could include behaviors such as: gossiping; undermining others; creating cliques; withholding information; ignoring responsibility; being critical, overbearing, overly competitive, or a bully; fueling conflict; taking credit unfairly; resisting change; spreading negativity; ignoring team goals; and challenging authority. The list goes on and on.
The first way to address any of the above issues is to examine how you see and think about people who cause problems.
How Healthy Leaders See People
How you think of people is key to resolution. In fact, you cannot resolve a situation in a healthy and effective way if you don’t view people in a way that honors them. Consider the following:
- Your value is equal to theirs. Your skills or maturity may exceed those of others’, but your value as a human is never greater than someone else’s. In that regard, we are equal, our value equal in God’s eyes.
- While they struggle with this, you struggle with that. Aren’t there areas in which you struggle or don’t hit the mark? Of course there are. So your goal is to see people as humans, who like you, struggle with certain issues. Albeit their issues could be graver than yours, nevertheless, both of you have issues to deal with. This point levels the playing field. Practicing these first and second points alone should give us a dose of humility as we prepare to talk to the person(s) stirring up trouble. They will be much more likely to respond positively when we are neither superior nor condescending.
- Offer grace. Aim to see anyone in your life as a person deserving of grace—undeserved favor. Make it a life value. When someone behaves poorly or produces subpar results, immediately think that even though you will aim to correct the wrong, you will offer them grace. Grace is not ignoring a wrong. Grace is acknowledging a trespass and foregoing the “eye for an eye” principle to remedy it. Haven’t you needed grace before? Don’t you need grace now?
- See them as immature, not of poor character. If you categorize people as having poor character, you will treat them poorly, and they will respond poorly. See them instead as immature or maturing in said area. When people display immature behavior, see them in a place where they have not yet grown in a particular focus. This principle is huge in my life to help me deal with what I perceive as problem behavior in others.
- Long to bless them. Live by this principle: If you are in my bubble, I will bless you. Aim to bless a person who is misbehaving by coaching them and helping them grow. Even if it’s hard, make that your goal. Move from a desire to punish people, or even correct them, to a desire to bless them and coach them.
If you think of people in a positive way, they are much more likely to respond to you in a positive way. Please join me tomorrow as we continue this topic of how to deal with people who “stir up trouble.”
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