Imagine you are in your mid-twenties, a newly-minted leader, in line to become the supervisor of a person in their mid-thirties or forties. Currently in my late forties, I often have people in their fifties and sixties on my team. At more than one point in my leadership, I can tell you that this very situation made me feel intimidated, scared, and out of place. What are we afraid of when leading someone older than us? If this ever an issue for you, read on.
In my years of leadership, I clearly remember my struggles when these instances arose. I still detect a little anxiety any time I’m in a setting where people are older, more experienced, or more esteemed than me, or at least I perceive them to be. But I’ve learned that identifying our fears helps us face them head on:
What if they are too set in their ways?
What if they say, “You should listen to me because I am older than you.”
What if they dominate conversations and make me feel or appear small in front of others?
What if they completely ignore me and do their own thing?
What if they outsmart and outmaneuver me emotionally or cognitively?
What if they refuse to let me lead them or influence them?
One simple principle.
All the fears above can be squashed by one simple principle: Mature people respect and follow their leaders regardless of age. Throwing age as a means of control is a sign of immaturity. So, the first way to combat these fears is to simply acknowledge: If anyone I lead does not want to follow me because I am younger, that’s due to a problem they have.
If someone refuses to heed your leadership because you are young, your tendency may be to revert to child-like reflexes to ‘listen to your elders.’ But you are not a child relating to an elder in this situation. So, change the way you see a person acting this way as someone older who’s worthy of unquestionable reverence, and see them rather as a person who is lacking development in a key area of their professional behavior. After you understand that your age is not the problem, then you can successfully diagnose the person’s immaturity. Honor them, offer them dignity, and demonstrate kindness, all the while clarifying that such immature thinking and behavior will not be given room in the workplace.
Will people follow me if I am young?
You might think it’s just a law of leadership that people simply do not like to follow those who are younger than them. That’s not true. People follow you because of who you are, not because of your age. People follow a leader regardless of age when the leader demonstrates depth of character, maturity of spirit, experience, previous success, and an understanding of position.
You must, with all respect and clarity, create boundaries that invite them to give their opinions while making it clear that you are in the position to make the final decision.
I hope these principles help you navigate the sometimes unnerving task of leading someone older than you. Stay well, my friends.
This article is adapted from one of our previously published articles in 2020 on professional relationships in leadership. I hope it lends insight and blessing into your life today.
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