How to Avoid Frustration with Others

As leaders, if we are not careful, we end up spending so much emotional energy on managing, explaining, and dealing with frustrations related to why people do or don’t do what we think they should. The source of our frustration is expecting people to do something they are not doing and believing it is because of a willful act of disrespect, laziness, or obstinance.

Looking back at my journey, I have found that the secret to effective leadership is to avoid this trap all together, which takes years to figure out and a lifetime to perfect. There are many ways to tackle the challenge of empowering people while still holding them accountable, of loving them and not seeing them as failures when they fail. One such way is to understand what psychology says regarding the cognitive bias, FAE.

The Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) is a concept in psychology that refers to the tendency to attribute the behavior of others to internal or dispositional factors while underestimating the influence of situational factors.  I have found that more often than not, the cause of issues is the latter, that people are doing their best with what they know and what they are capable of.

FAE is the tendency to overemphasize the role of a person’s character or personality when explaining their actions, while downplaying the impact of external circumstances or context.

For example, if a person makes a mistake at work, someone prone to the Fundamental Attribution Error might assume it’s because the person is careless or incompetent (internal attribution) rather than consider that external factors, like a lack of training, a distracting environment, or a high workload may have contributed to their mistake (situational attribution).

Leaders who have grown to counter the FAE bias show up to their leadership circle with grace, love, patience, and effectiveness. If you want to be effective with people, keep looking to understand the real internal reason why a person seems to not be measuring up. Steer away from quick, reactionary approaches to evaluate others.

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