One of the hardest lessons of leadership is to learn not to be reactive. Dare I say, never to be reactive. Anytime I see a leader react, allowing their emotions to take control, even momentarily, and even if they apologize and change course, they appear less trustworthy and capable.
Why do I say this is a hard lesson to learn? Because being reactive and emotional:
- Is often mistaken as passion.
- Frequently gets quick wins.
- Gives you a feeling of confidence and dominance.
As leaders we want to be—and be seen as—passionate, results-oriented, and confident. Allow me to describe the issue further and offer a solution. Before we can be better here, we must first understand what it means to be reactive and then fully convinced that it is not best.
Let me illustrate what it means to be reactive. Leaders, and people in general, are quick to make a determination. I remember early on when we did our team recruiting over Zoom, I wanted to approve all new hires. Every single one. Now, thank God, we have an excellent leader who does this. But back then, I ran an experiment on myself. I decided, when I start the Zoom meeting for an interview, I want to see if my impression of whether or not I like someone will change from the first 10 seconds of the interview to the end of the interview. Within the first 10 seconds, actually within the first two to three seconds, I would make a decision whether or not they would be a good fit for our company. About 70% of the time I did not change my mind after I watched their full interview, but about 30% of the time I did change my mind. It is scary how quickly the brain decides—on everything. And while it may be a good skill for managing life minute by minute, it is not effective in leadership.
So, should we be reactive to get results and move things forward? No. Often, things are not what they initially seem. We need to hear the opinions of others. We need to think and reflect. I am not saying to drag things out and neglect decision-making. Be decisive, but avoid being reactive. There is a big difference. Being reactive means you’ve let your emotions take over. Being decisive means you can take a risk to make a decision even when there is not 100% clarity.
If someone comes at you with a knife, react. Run. Fight. Do something without thinking. Otherwise, don’t fall into the trap of being reactive. Let your words be measured. What’s more important, let your thoughts be measured.
As the father of a five-year-old, I get to watch a lot of animals on the iPad. Reactive behavior is what a snapping turtle does. If anything touches its mouth, the turtle immediately shuts it. Decisive is how a lion carefully tracks a herd of buffalo, and even when victory is not assured, the lion makes a decision and commits to it.
Bottom line. Don’t be reactive. Just don’t. There is a time for passion, to reveal your conviction, but don’t let it become a knee-jerk reaction to stimuli just so you can make a decision or a determination. Let your passion and conviction rise up to inspire and motivate, to breathe life into people. And let your mature responsiveness instill trust and assurance.
How can I support you more as a Christian leader and entrepreneur?
Comment