Successful leaders often have one problem: success at work and failure at home. Maybe failure is too strong of a word for you. Maybe your statement is: “success at work, no success at home.” You evaluate and decide.
The prototypical story is that of a successful father who is absent, and therefore his marriage and his parenting suffer. This happens to varying degrees for all of us at different phases of our lives, but I have also seen it the other way around where the father wants to be so present with the family that he does not model hard work or provide adequately for his family. (I am using “father” here, however I know many families where the mother is the breadwinner. This principle applies to either parent, regardless of who the breadwinner is.)
So what is the right balance? Should you work part-time and make less money so you can see your family more? Or should you work doubly as hard, so you can provide your family with more things, so maybe they can have what you didn’t have growing up?
Regardless of your answer, I think the key is that we should be aware of what we are doing. If you are working too much, or too little, do you have a mechanism for self-evaluation? Or can you invite people around you to shed light on how you are doing in this area?
One answer involves the concept of seasons. In some seasons, I’ve worked literally over 100 hours per week and hardly seen my family. We had a crisis at work and I needed to save our business. There was another season where I had more time and flexibility.
Children become how their parents live. If you have courage, your children are more likely to be courageous. If you live by faith, your children will know what faith looks like and likely model theirs after you. If you work hard and push yourself forward, your children will often do the same. To shape our children, we must first shape ourselves because they are watching.
Determining how much to work and how much to be present at home has to be intentional, and it needs to be balanced. As Christ-following parents, our responsibility from the Lord is to provide for, give safety to, and rear our children in the fear of the Lord. It can look many different ways based on your career and your family goals and dynamics. However, anything that takes you away from your family’s life, particularly for extended periods of time, may not be the wisest choice.
What is the right balance between home and work? That’s for you to discover. Find out, be intentional about it.
QUESTION: What is one step you can take this month to work toward balance between home and work?
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