When I started out in leadership, I mistakenly believed leadership was the art of pushing people to do what they were supposed to do. I have come to realize that this is the wrong approach to leadership.
Today, I am known at our company for pushing people, but the pushing I do now is aimed at growing them, not coercing them. I encourage people to go to school, to read, think, get mentors, reflect, and to challenge their own thinking.
What I don’t do, and what I don’t want to do, is succumb to the instinct to push people to do what they are not yet mature enough to do. Let’s examine professional maturity as an example. When somebody does not come to work on time, does not meet deadlines, or does not respond to communication, I used to get very annoyed. It frustrated me. As I matured in leadership, I figured out how to talk to these people and guide them to better performance. Now, most of the time, I don’t even do that.
I don’t even bother jousting with people who have not matured professionally—not because I don’t care, not because I don’t know how, and not because I am afraid to. I don’t engage people this way because I acknowledge that people grow very slowly, and some don’t grow at all. Now, I place people in positions based on their level of maturity and skill. I don’t spend my emotional energy on figuring out how to talk people into changing.
I am not saying that I don’t encourage people to improve or even incentivize them to perform at their best. Of course I do, but there’s a fine line between encouraging people to meet their potential and expecting people to perform above their level of maturity level and skill, above their emotional awareness, communication skills, or even beyond their likability.
When you find yourself dealing with this issue in leadership, instead of getting frustrated and trying to change people or even grow them in their current positions, try to find another position that suits their current maturity. Then when they grow, and do help them to grow, you can reward them with more.
