Our twins will turn three on January 3rd, which is also my birthday! Emmy came first, then seven minutes later Luke arrived. It was one of the biggest miracles and blessings Joanne and I have had, and we thank the Lord for them.
Luke does not eat well. He is also a bit taller than Emmy, so he looks quite thin. We entice him to eat, but other than milk, steak, and chocolate, he does not eat much. Joanne and I found ourselves constantly coaxing him to eat. So recently, we agreed to take him to his pediatrician and a dietician to see if they can help us. We’ll see what we learn.
Every parent I know tries to do their best for their kids—to protect them, provide for them, and have them grow up as healthy and happy people.
My grandpa Nehme Feghali, who was born in 1907 and died in 2006, spanked his eight kids (especially the four boys) quite a bit. By today’s standards, CPS would probably be called in. My mom told me that when she was older and had a family of her own, she confronted him one day and asked him, “Why did you spank us so much?” Contrite, he said, “My daughter, that’s how I thought good parenting was supposed to be.”
What makes a parent a good parent?
One woman we know cleans homes in order to send her kids to college. Another woman I worked with ached because her son got into drugs and became homeless on the streets. My wife Joanne lost her brother at age 26 to cancer, which means my mother-in-law’s life was scarred by losing a son.
I was talking to a cousin who grew up in Lebanon like me. We reflected on how our dads were both distant. That’s just how dads were when we were boys in Lebanon, and we both believe we had good dads. Today in the US, his own children do not believe he was a good father because he did not go to all their basketball games and cheer like the other parents. His kids do not feel like he was present enough, even though he was and still is an amazing dad, one who provided safety and a comfortable life for them.
I know another guy whose parents were alcoholics and often in prison. As a result, he was shuffled from one house to another. When he talks about them however, he says “I had good parents.”
I am writing this on Christmas week. Joanne and I decided not to travel this year, which has been our tradition. Other than writing these articles, I hardly did any “productive” work this week. The kids were sick. A couple of evenings we invited some family and friends over. Other than that, we were just home with our kids. On the floor. It was a beautiful week.
What is the take-away? Parenting is one of the most important jobs we are entrusted with, and also one of the hardest. Like anything in life, we will have ups and downs, we will try, and fail, and succeed. But at the end of the day, family is God’s idea. Therefore, marriage and parenting is a beautiful experience that we must trust to the Lord. Model the highest values. Love your children the best way you know how, and trust them to the Lord, for the outcome is not ours to control.
