The problem with being frustrated is not the source of our frustration, rather it is the fact that we are frustrated. I know this sounds circular, but stay with me here.
What used to frustrate me 10 years ago does not frustrate me today. Why? Because I matured. If you were to ask me to share one piece of advice to make you a better leader, I would say: Be aware of your emotions.
When we are emotional, we think through the limbic system of our brain whose goal is safety, comfort, and equilibrium, rather than our prefrontal cortex where we do higher reasoning. What we think when we are emotional is often different from when we are calm. For example, when we calm down from being angry, we often alter our perspective then change our mind as a result. Emotionally-based thoughts are almost always less grounded and wise than thoughts that originate in calmness.
Let me focus on frustration, a common emotion. Often in the heat of our frustration, we try to resolve whatever is frustrating us. Consider this: You just opened a box from Amazon containing a new table that requires assembly. You begin putting it together, but it is impossible to understand the instructions. So you become really frustrated. Is the problem here the instructions or your lack of patience?
Why did you get frustrated? After all, you have the skill to understand instructions. You can even go to YouTube to get it figured out. You are frustrated because you don’t have the patience to solve the problem.
See, the problem is not the issue. It’s not the poorly written instructions. It is your lack of patience to close the gap between a box of pieces and an assembled table. And now that you are frustrated and potentially taking it out on those around you, the real problem has become your inability to control your emotions.
So, yes, the table has to be assembled. But once you get frustrated, the first step becomes getting unfrustrated. Relax. Come back to it later. Get help. Maybe even get someone else to do it. Solve problems, yes—but not from a place of frustration.
When it comes to our emotions, let us consider self-control. It is one of the characteristics of the Spirit of God who lives in us as believers.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
