I was talking to a colleague recently, and she said, “Who would not like to have a better work-life balance?” So true! I have seen people who spend too much time at home, with family and kids, and not as much time modeling hard work. But most of the time, it is the other way around: we spend way too much time at work to provide for said family, but we do not provide them with what they need most: our time.
For me, starting my professional journey as a student in medicine, I saw so many doctors work so hard, have family and marital issues, and simply not have the time or energy to enjoy life. They seemed worn out. I decided to not let this be me. So I thought I would become an Emergency Room Doctor, since ER docs work long but fewer shifts per month, and then they can come home and not worry about their office, or business. I interviewed for ER residencies to make that my speciality.
However, at the last minute, I felt led to go in another direction: To follow my brother Roger’s footsteps, and become a Family Doctor.
When I started private practice, I fell into the same trap. The ones that I promised I would avoid. But by the time I got married to my beautiful wife Joanne, at age 40 (yes, I was a late bloomer), my practice was established enough where my hours were not too crazy. When my son Danny came two years later, I still worked hard, but I could devote time to my family.
Now at 48 with three children, I look back at my journey and at where I am now. I look at this issue of work-life balance, and offer the following observations for my leader readers:
- Your best friend in work-life balance is planning. Don’t leave your schedule to be controlled by the whims of the urgent, important, even life-changing events.
- In this planning, plan out your sacred family time. This is a time that you will not, under any circumstances, violate. In this area, I aspire to be disciplined but not militaristic, meaning you must allow space for changes when needed.
- Plan to stop work when you can for special moments. One of the best pieces of advice I adopted is this: when your child says, “Can you come play with me?”, your answer must always be yes. Go play with them for a few minutes. Five minutes. Ten. Remember that your hard work is ultimately to have the ability to enjoy special moments. So why ignore these moments now?
- You must teach your children the value of sacrifice and hard work; but you being unavailable some of the time because you are working to provide for the family is actually a great lesson for them.
- The most important thing to plan out is your daily schedule. When should you end work? If you are a business owner like me, you can work 24/7 and still not finish. End your day at a certain time, and let people know. Get people around you used to your schedule, so they do not demand your attention and time during your family time.
If you are not able to be physically and mentally be available for your family, something must change. Make a plan. Set a goal. Pray about it. Seek the Lord’s guidance.
Finally, let me say this. The good life is not to work 4 hours per week or to live the retired life. No. I subscribe to a 40-50 hour work week. Maybe in some seasons, 30-40 hour work weeks. I think we as Christian leaders should work, work for the Lord, work to provide. Work is good. The good life is one where we can have time to seek the Lord, work hard, enjoy and invest in our family, and take care of our health.
How can I support you more as a Christian leader and entrepreneur?
