What makes difficult conversations difficult? As leaders, we have times that we need to correct someone’s behavior, confront someone’s poor character, end a relationship, or give feedback to someone who does not want to hear it.
Many times we shy away from these conversations. Sometimes we resolve to “just say it as it is,” and become like a tank rolling over people. But the majority of leaders I talk to say the same thing: I don’t like difficult conversations. But not all leaders say that.
Not the seasoned and mature ones.
Could difficult conversations become not difficult? They can. Here are some ways to help you on that journey–and it is a journey. You can practice these, see them work, and add to them your own lessons:
- Before a difficult conversation, give it time, think about what you would say. How to frame it in a humane way. In a wise way. In an honest way.
- Know that difficult conversations are the work of great leaders. When you have a difficult conversation, you are honing the skill to be a great leader. Each one you have makes you better and gives you confidence. It teaches what to do, and what not to do, next time.
- Remember that people deserve to be celebrated, not just tolerated. As a matter of fact, if you cannot celebrate someone one the whole, remove them from your life; it is not right to keep them with you. So a difficult conversation needs to be in the context of a celebrated life. That must be your aim.
- Do all you can not break any relationship. But be ok if any relationship breaks. Make your first aim to honor people, and second to be a good steward to your responsibility. Go in with gentleness, patience, and understanding. Give relationships time. But don’t be afraid to push beyond a certain point fearing a relationship break-up. There is more chance for a relationship to end, if we are not transparent and sharing difficult truths.
We will need to have difficult conversations throughout our journey as leaders. Part of our growth is learning to have healthy ones.
How can I support you more as a Christian leader and entrepreneur?
