A dear friend and ministry partner in Central America sent me this question recently: In addition to prayer, what would be a good way to deal with people who just do not want to do what they’re expected to do?
Since this is an excellent leadership topic, I’d like to answer her in this article:
Whether in a work or ministry setting, all leaders face times when people do not do what they are supposed to. Here are some thoughts for your consideration and beginning with four ways to reframe the problem.
First, when we view people through the lens of the tasks they are expected to accomplish, it positions us primarily as a judge, or grader, of their performance. This perspective instantly puts us on opposing ends of the issue. We are the leaders; they are the followers. We are correct; they are wrong. We are the adjudicators; they are the recipients of our decisions. Could it be that what they are doing is correct, and what we think about it is wrong? Yes. If we approach our people with the belief that they are first human, then when we talk to them, we will have an open, optimistic attitude.
Second, while my position today is the one with authority, this could be different in the future. This understanding also gives me humility when I approach someone who seems to be having issues doing what they are supposed to.
Third, view your people as partners who choose to work with you rather than paid hands who ought to do what you say. Because that is what it is. After all, people can always choose to work with someone else, can they not? I have removed from my thinking and speaking phrases like “they work for me,” and replaced them with the mindset that everyone works with me. This, too, improves the quality of our relationship and communication. The essence of leadership is just this, bringing people together so we can all do our part in order to achieve a shared mission. We are all partners—of different contributions, roles, and authorities—but partners nonetheless.
Fourth, when my partners, the people who work with me, do something they are not supposed to, I choose not to view it that way. Instead, I try to look at them through a lens of wonder and think in the most inquisitive manner I can: I wonder why are they doing that? Let me find out. Did I not listen well to them? Maybe there is something going on in their lives or how they are seeing this. Let me discover.
When someone’s behavior or job performance does not meet expectations, the easiest way—but the absolute wrong way—to address it is to bring them into alignment by applying force and intimidation. Let me reveal a bottom line secret: There is always a cause, and a good leader searches for the cause. It could be simple and solvable, which is most often the case. Or it could be that the person is not a good fit, and a separation has to take place. But this should be the last resort and is rarely the immediate solution.
Based on the above principles, consider the following:
- How is your relationship with this person? When communication is poor, the relationship is usually poor, and vice versa. Work on a strategy to improve the relationship, which of course takes time and effort, but this is the price of effective leadership.
- Are you meeting with this person on a regular basis (weekly at a minimum), not just to talk about work, but to connect with them as a person. These meetings must not be in passing, but at a time you set on your calendar and they set on theirs. I see this as a most crucial, and often most missed, habit of leadership. Many leaders simply do not know their people on a human level.
- Often in situations like these, leaders do not know the perspective of the person who seems to be shirking their work. If you meet and just ask, “How is it going with (fill in the task)?” you will learn a lot. In these meetings, your goal is to learn and understand. As a physician, I know a treatment is only effective if I make the correct diagnosis. The same is true in leadership.
- Are they working in their strengths?
- Do they perform well in other areas and only show problems with this particular task?
- Do they have personal problems?
- Is someone at work bothering them?
- Are you not supporting them?
Most leadership problems involving people can be resolved with the following principle: The secret to leading people is understanding them.
