How to Fill People’s Emotional Tanks 15 Ways to Show Others You Value and Care for Them
How do you motivate others to do what needs to be done? If you have led anyone, the answer to this question is central to your leadership success.
I am going to give you the answer: When others feel truly valued, appreciated and cared for by their leader they will go with him or her anywhere, and will gladly do what needs to be done.
When people feel valued, appreciated, and cared for they not only become highly satisfied with their work, they also feel emotionally engaged. Their emotional tank is filled.
But how do you fill someone’s emotional tank? Here are 15 ways…
I was recently speaking with a young leader who confided that she had requested her team to complete a task for her, but no one did it. She asked me for ideas on how she could achieve better results? I shared how to build relationships and improve communication, but then I asked if she has been intentional to make sure her people’s emotional tanks were full.
What Does It Mean to Fill Someone’s Tank?
When someone feels successful and confident about their life direction, when they feel loved, valued and appreciated by their leader, then their emotional tank is full. I want everyone I lead to feel like a million bucks when it comes to their work with me. That is my goal. Sometimes I fail; sometimes I succeed. But I try to keep this goal at the forefront of my mind.
If you want to lead someone successfully, do the following consistently and fill the emotional tanks of those around you. Others will reward you by allowing you to lead them.
Principles for Filling People’s Tanks
- Fill someone’s tank for the right reason. Desire your peoples’ tanks to be filled, not so they can do your bidding, but because you genuinely care for them. It is the right thing to do for the people God gifted you to lead. If you fill someone’s tank just because it accomplishes what is best for you, it will not be lasting or effective. Leadership requires living with the utmost integrity, so do right by the people in your charge.
- Be aware of the present level of someone’s tank. The first order of business in filling a person’s emotional tank is to always know how people feel. How full is their tank? Do they feel empowered, or overwhelmed, or defeated? Making an effort to know this, at all times, is essential. How do you know? Keep open communication and aim to understand and connect with people.
- Understand people. Continue to learn about your people. Even the people with whom you have worked closely for many years, purpose to keep learning about them.
- Meet their emotional need. Each personality type has common emotional needs. Read about the personality types in this previous article. Knowing these, have made such a huge difference in my leadership journey.
- Appreciate them. Being appreciated for your hard work or for what you bring to the team or organization is key to feeling good about your work.
- Value them. We must not only appreciate people, but we must also truly value them. Tell them, “John, I really value your contribution and am thankful for what you do for our work family.”
- Support them. Supporting people will fill their tanks. We often feel emotionally empty when our leaders do not give us what we need to do our job.
- Empower them. When leaders delegate some of their power to those they lead, great things can happen.
- Encourage them. Stand by your people and give them courage by communicating to them their worthiness and that you are there for them as they take their next steps.
- Invest in them. When you spend resources to build people up, they feel like you value them enough to see them grow and become better.
- Update them. So many times as leaders, we are so busy we forget to update people about what is going on. Keeping them current communicates they are important to us.
- Ask for their advice. When people genuinely want to know my opinion, I always feel honored. Simply ask people for their advice. They may surprise you with their willingness to help.
- Spend time with them. Possibly the best gift we can offer is when we carve time out of our schedule to spend with people.
- Take them on journeys with you. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to far, go with others. When you take people with you, you will fill their emotional tanks.
- Set them up for success. Help people succeed in life, not just at work.
Incorporate these 15 practices into your leadership and continue to hone your skills. Your people will feel valued and follow you faithfully.
For Further Reading: