Do You Trust Your People?
This post is written by guest blogger, Andria Bicknell. Andria has great leadership experience in ministry, business and at home. Andria is also an accomplished and gifted writer. Enjoy this blog!
- Wes Saade, M.D.
As a leader, are you developing trust with your people? Do you really trust them? Specifically as the leader in your home, do you trust your children?
After all, you expect them to trust you, right?
The very best way to gain someone’s trust is to demonstrate trust in them. Gaining your children’s trust is more than “being trustworthy” in front of them. If you really want your children to trust you with the deep things of their hearts, you must first extend your trust to them.
This is my all-time favorite parenting story – THE STORY I aspire to live up to with my own children. After God created all the animals, Genesis 2:19 says that he brought them to his boy, Adam, “to see what he would call them…and whatever the man called each living creature, that was his name.”
He did what?!?! Tell me I am not the only micro-managing-momma out there! That just stops me in my tracks because after all, this is God. He could have named them while Adam was busy playing in the Garden, and the boy would have never known the difference. God could have had that project all wrapped up in a matter of minutes and moved on to the next thing on his To-Do list for the week (creating woman). It was a busy week.
How many times as leaders do we do things ourselves because we know we can do it faster – and we can do it right (or at least our version of right)! I admit that thought crosses my mind daily as I am trying to get all of us out the door in the morning or to bed at night.
Yet, here is God – not making lunches and doing dishes – He’s only naming all the animals!
He didn’t stand over Adam and make faces or offer “suggestions.” He didn’t micro-manage. He brought the animals to him to see what he would call them.
He didn’t undermine Adam’s wonder, creativity, or naivety by correcting him. He didn’t come back later to re-do or fix anything that Adam had done. Whatever the man called a living creature, that was his name.
He gave his child grace to be himself, a safe place to exercise responsibility, and a sense of self-accomplishment.
You want your children to trust you? Demonstrate trust.
- Trust them with an important job, and see what they do with it.
- Trust them with “grown-up” conversation about your work, relationships, financial choices, current events.
- Trust them by seeking their opinion.
- Trust them to handle their own responsibilities.
When at 4 years old my child folded the clean wash cloths in a funky twisted ball, that’s how the wash cloths were placed in the bathroom cabinet. When at 5 years old, my child made a bed with lumps and bumps in the middle, I admired her work and left the lumps.
When at 6 years old, I’m asked why we can’t order pizza tonight, I tell him I am keeping my budget. When at 7 years old, my child uses 10 squirts of Windex to clean one kitchen counter, I say thank you. And, when at 8 years old I am asked, “How was your day, Mommy?” I tell her how blessed I am to be doing my dream job.
After all, we aren’t naming animals here.
We are developing trust.
As the leader in your home – or anywhere you practice leadership – I dare you to trust your people and see what they can do!
PS – If you believe this blog may benefit someone you know, please consider sharing!