How to Revolutionize Your One-on-One Meetings: Build
Build is the second step of the three-step process that will revolutionize one-on-one meetings with your people. The first step is Listen, which I discussed in the last article. The third step is Align which I will discuss in my next article.
Great leaders build people. And what better way to build others up than during our one-on-one meetings with them? It is during these private meetings that we can truly dig deep, and build large. Let me show you how.
When I meet with someone, my goal is that they leave the meeting feeling like a millions bucks, even if during the meeting I had to deliver bad news or a sharp critique. I want the people in my world to feel loved, smart, capable, confident, valued, and an integral part of the journey. Because they are. And I am convinced that this must be a central goal in one-on-one meetings with our people.
Why We Must Build Others Up
There are two general reasons why you should intentionally and consistently build people up, as their leader.
- God put these people in your life; He trusted them to you. You have three choices in how you relate to them: tear them down, leave them be, or build them up. I choose the latter. I want to be intentional to build people up, just because I think it is the right thing to do. This must flow from love. Truly caring about someone’s wellbeing dictates that you build them up consistently.
- The bigger your people are, the faster the dream is reached. It is simple. The better your people are individually, the better your teams are collectively; therefore the better-equipped your organization is to reach its goals.
Be mindful of your motives. True leaders are compelled to build people up first and foremost for reason number one above. If the only reason you are building someone up is so you can use them, your leadership will be lacking in integrity and depth. Also, those leaders who build people up because it is a core value of who they are, will impact more lives and experience a greater reach.
How We Should Build Others Up
Below is a list of what I do to build people up. If you work with me, hopefully you see me use these approaches constantly. And I am always on the lookout to learn and incorporate new ways to build people up. If you employ other ways to build your people up, please leave a comment and share it with us, or hit reply and share that with me.
- Listen to what they communicate. Building a person up must start with a deep knowledge of who they are and where they are on their journey. Friend, trust me on this. You cannot build someone up effectively, if you don’t know what they are thinking and how they are feeling. Start with healthy listening. That’s why Step One of our three-step process is so vital.
- Pay attention to what they do. When you are with people throughout the day, be attentive to what they are doing and make mental (or even written) notes of the areas in which they are excelling and shining. Then, when you meet with them, you will be prepared to point that out to them.
- Care for them, and show them that you do. The people who build me up the most are those who care about me most. We trust those who love us. We don’t question their motives. During my meetings with people, I take every chance I can to communicate that I truly care, like directly telling people, “I really value our relationship,” or “Your wellbeing is very important to me.”
- Show them that you appreciate them. We must be intentional to thank people for coming on the journey with us, for trusting us, for caring about the team, for pushing themselves, for working with excellence, for giving 100%. Find the areas that you appreciate about others, and express your observations and gratitude.
- Show them that they are amazing and capable. One significant responsibility of a leader is to help people believe in themselves. Give them confidence. Give them hope. Give them courage. Help them discover their strengths. Point these out to them constantly. Showcase and build on their talents.
- Show them that they are immensely valuable to you and to the team.
1. Update them. When someone is valuable to you, you let them in on the latest news. They are not the last to know.
2. Share “secrets” with them. In addition, those that you value most will be let in on things that few others know.
3. Receive their opinion. Solicit their input. Those that you value and trust will serve as consultants for big and small things because you genuinely value their opinion
- Invest in their personal growth.
1. Invest resources. Building people up requires resources. Dedicating resources to help people grow communicates that you truly care about them and their personal development.
2. Invest time. Spend time with your people. Listen, encourage, and give them what they need. Serving them, for instance, will build them up.
3. Illuminate their next step. People know that you truly care, and that you want to build them up, when you take time to help them discover the next step in their growth plan, and communicate that with them.
Actionable step: Make a conscious decision to begin building people up. Start noticing their strengths, and what they do with excellence. Point that out to them.
About Me: I just had a birthday two days ago. I was born at home in Forn El Shebak, Beirut, Lebanon because that day in 1976, the civil war was raging, and my mother could not get safely to the hospital. My late grandmother, Tamam, a midwife, delivered me.
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